Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Your Life is so Precious

Holding on to what’s no longer there is one way to waste your life. Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting past memories, and letting them steer the course of the present.  Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place.  Let the past, go.  You must accept the end of something in order to begin to build something new.  So close some old doors today.  Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere.

Stop waiting for tomorrow; you will never get today back.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past.  It doesn’t matter how low or unworthy you feel right now.  The simple fact that you’re alive makes you worthy.  Life is too short for excuses.  Stop settling.  Stop procrastinating.  Start today by taking one courageous step forward.  If you are not sure exactly which way to go, it is always wise to follow your heart.

Monday, January 7, 2013


At least, I'm gonna make a love confessions like this post. I hate this post, but I just wanna share you all what happen with my heart thus far. 

Close the tab if you don't like. Simple.

Okay, here I am....

When I went to college for the middle of 4th semester, not long after broken up with my ex-bf,  I met this guy through student commitee for a studium general and was attracted to him cause of his sense of humour and looks. 

Rather unexpectedly, we became rather close friends over the commitee. Everyone in commitee thinks that there’s something going on between us and my friends kept telling me that he treats me differently and he wants to be more than my friend. I find it hard to believe that he will fall for me. The rumours became worse recently and my best friend went to ask him if he likes me. He said that he just have a relationship and would not do anything about it just as yet. I don’t really know what that means. All I know is I keep trying to let him go but I can’t and it’s so hard to just treat him as a normal friend. I don’t know what to think. He treats me nice and text me to meet up with him in class for lunch or just to talk and stuff. But does he do that as a friend or cause he’s interested? We’re even going to dinner together, but it's not the both of us. I think about him all the time, and I miss him when he’s not with me. I tell my closest friends how I feel about him and they tell me that it’s not worth it to wait for a guy like him and he’s toying with my feelings. But it's not easy to forget him.  I'm getting harder to fall for him.

 O Damn, I’m in love with my friend and even though he has a girlfriend, I want him to be mine. Yes, what a bad luck, I am in love with a man whom I know will never love me back in the same capacity. I don't think he understand just how much he mean to me. I am so torn and that I know this is not right but I am in love with a taken man and I believe things happen for a reason and that we should be together. 

I don’t want to lose his friendship and I don’t know how to tell him how I feel. I want to ask him how he feels about me and whether he feels that there is something going on between us or it just my imagine.

I feel so stupid and tired be the second. I hate this feeling. Everytime I tell my self, this is the last time for me to miss him that night but then I keep doing this.  I keep thinking how much I love him, how good he look when  he smile, and how much I love his laugh. I day dream about him off and on. I miss him more and more each the day.  I know that I am crazy because I know well I am always second and I am always waiting. 

But now, I'm tired to fighting for him, because I know I'll never be good enough.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Untuk Engkau

     "Engkau yang menempati ruang khusus di hatiku, semoga Tuhan membuatmu mendengar bisikan cintaku ini … 

Khusuk tundukku di hadapan Tuhan malam ini, untuk meminta agar engkau hanya dijatuh-cintakan kepadaku, dijadikan setia kepadaku dan yang kusetiai sampai akhir waktu, yang dibahagiakan bersamaku dalam pernikahan yang mesra, yang rukun, dan yang sejahtera selamanya.

Aamiin... " - Mario Teguh

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Menunggu Hujan

Hai sayang, apa kabarmu di sana?
 Aku harap kamu baik-baik saja dan selalu diliputi kebahagiaan, seperti doa yang selalu ku lantunkan dalam tiap sujudku. 

Kau tahu apa, perkara yang paling tidak aku sukai dalam hidupku saat ini? Menunggu dan hujan. Aku paling tidak menyukai keduanya, apalagi jika aku terpaksa harus menunggu dalam hujan. Rasanyaaa.... entah.

Aku membenci perkara menunggu, apalagi dalam hujan.

Tapi tenang saja, aku punya satu pengecualian, yaitu KAMU. Meski kau haruskan aku terus menunggu dalam hujan gemuruh dalam dadaku, aku mau. Ya, aku mau ~.

"Menunggu hujan reda sama dengan menunggumu, menunggu hatimu. Aku bisa saja menerobosnya, berlari menembus batas tanpa peduli sakit yang nanti akan menghampiri, aku juga bahkan bisa belari menuju pulang, menuju tempat yg awalnya tdk tersentuh, tapi nyatanya aku disini~menunggu ;)" - Nice words from my beloved one: Siti Khadijah Hardyanti