p(INDAH)

Pada akhirnya aku diharuskan untuk pindah, memulai hari yang baru di tempat yang baru. Tidak semudah yang dipikirkan, karena aku harus menyiapkan segala sesuatunya agar tidak ada yang tertinggal di belakang, mempersiapkan tempat yang baru agar siap ditinggali, dan menyiapkan hati agar kuat di tempat yang baru.
Pindah bukan perkara mudah.
Pindah itu berteman lelah.
Semoga p(indah) kali ini berbuah berkah.
InsyaAllah.

Ku Cari Kau di Sepertiga Malam

Kau adalah puisi panjang yang selalu ku baca
Hingga bibir kelu dan mata berurai air mata
Kata-kataku tumpah dalam doa
Ku cari kau di setiap sepertiga malam
Ku doakan kau baik baik saja
Karena ku berjanji akan berusaha untuk baik baik saja
Meski kadang pertanyaan itu selalu sama,
Mengapa kita tak lagi sama?

Lalu pagi selalu menjadi hal yang tak mudah
Ku sembunyikan sendu lewat senyum palsu
Hidup tanpamu berat untukku
Lagitku gelap tanpa arah
Aku tidak pernah terlahir untukmu sebagai rumah
Tapi terima kasih sudah pernah singgah

There was You After Everything

Dear Mr. I-Thought-You-are-the-Right-One


It's 3 am now and it's only you on my mind.

How things are going?

How life is treating you?

Are you happy now without me?

Do you meet a new lover there?
I lie on my bed, I couldn't help but question everything about you. You left me broken and unfixable, wondering what I had ever done wrong that made you leave. You walked out of my life like it was nothing.


And after thinking and questioning about everything, all I can say is "thank you and I am sorry."


I am not mad or upset. I do not hate you or wish you the worst. Our relationship is not something I regret, because you taught me so many lessons.

You’ve been always a great example for me to be a better version of me. You show me all the kindness and gentle way to treat people. You taught me to see myself  beautiful when I didn’t see myself that way, you saw in me a wonderful person I never knew I could be. You taught me how to feel beautiful and confident with my own skin. You never made me feel ashamed for anything in my life, and you supported me through every choice I made. You gave me your shoulder whenever I need a place to lean on. That embrace of yours used to take away all the pain and stressing of my life, it felt like home.


Looking back, I was so happy. I know that when you said you love me, you really meant it.  You treated me like I mattered, put me first, cared about me, wiped my tears, made me smile, and hold my hand through thick and thin.You served me like a princess, showered love unconditionally, stood by me, stood for me, and made me feel like I was the luckiest girl alive on this planet. The days we spent together were some of the best days of my life. Thank you for truly loving me for me. Ours are too perfect and beautiful as I remembered.


Thank you for the unforgettable experience of my hand being held in yours. You proudly introduced me to your family and friends as your girlfriend. You never tried to hide me from anyone you met. Your family welcomed me from the first they met me and that warms my heart because to me they could see that I was someone important in your life.


I don’t know when you became the most  important person in my life and when to make you happy became the sole reason of my existence. I invested my emotions, my thoughts, and my time in you. I only hope that that has brought you happiness. I hope that when you look back at us, that you smile and are grateful too for the time spent. I hope that I made you as happy as you made me in these almost 5 years we were together.


Thank you for everything. I am forever thankful for the relationship we ever  had. No one has made the impact like you did to my whole life. You are truly one of a kind and I wish you nothing but the best in this life. You gave me more than you'll ever realize and for that I am forever grateful. I am only sorry that I couldn't do more for you.



Love always,


Your Very-Thankful-Ex-Girlfriend